You know what I like? I like claire ligne. I don’t care if you’re Moebius or Hergé. If you’re using the same weight1 for all your lines, I’m into it. This guy Floc’h employs claire ligne. He drew those loafers up there.2 I found the image on this blog devoted to his work. Also, here’s a book of his I would very much like to own.
Bon Apétit videos are like a subculture unto themselves. Who’s your favorite? JP likes Chris. I’ve been told I’m reminiscent of Delany. And I don’t know how I should feel about it. Good, I guess?3 Bon Apétit just came out with their Basically Guide to Better Baking, and, from the design and content, to the recipes themselves, it all looks good as hell.
The last time I was in New York, I went to The Nicholas Roerich Museum, thus fulfilling a kind of a lifelong dream. It was quiet, and private, and magical. A tiny cloister in the big city. Remind me to tell you the story some time.4 The next time I’m in New York, my top priority is going to be visiting Louis Armstrong’s immaculately preserved home in Queens.
“Tuesdays used to matter. Now the only thing that happens is you, you, and you say ‘shit, I been had that,’ ‘shit, I been heard that.'”
Wale, The Perfect Plan, 2008
You have no idea how hyped I am on this song. I mean. Either “you probably pay fifty for a gram from a Rasta” or “this the smile Scar had when he smoked Mufasa,” one of them, is already the Bar of the Year for 2020. These lines seem like they would be in the same verse, part of the same rhyme pattern. But they’re not! Sir Michael Rocks is just that dope! The other Cool Kid, Chuck Inglish, has often said that if hefelt like it, Sir Michael Rocks would be the best rapper alive. He’s not wrong. Take it from Old Man Ebro: The Cool Kids is back.
Honestly what do you want out of a pop song in 2020? Because if it’s not here, I don’t know if you can be helped.
There was kind of a lot riding on this when I heard about it, because, most of the time, these supergroup remixes end up like that shit Miley and Ariana and LDR did for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack.1 But then sometimes a supergroup remix is more like “Lady Marmalade”2 with Xtina or “Ghetto Supastar” 3 with Mya. This is more like the latter than the former. even though it’s not from a soundtrack. Listen. Anything Kero Kero Bonito on it is going to be fun.
You know how hard it is to make joke rap? That anyone would ever want to listen to? Like if you were like, ‘yo, I’m thinking ab0ut making a joke rap album,’ I’d be like ‘while you are a humorous person, and rap music does rely on many of the same formal structures as joke-telling, I would very much advise against this.’ There’s been a lot of joke rap. From Joe Pesci to Lil Dicky. The results are, uh. Uneven. I think Das Racist4 were the last guys to do joke rap well. Joke rap is hard to do, you see, because there’s a lot going against you. For one, you have to be good at rapping. And then you’re up against actual rappers, most of whom are already very funny. But if you’re going to do it, you might as well get rap’s reigning mystery man Spark Master Tape on the shit, lending it some credibility and a dope ass verse.
Rap. Rap rap rap. I feel like I write a lot about it. I think a lot about it. For a lot of people, I’m the guy they go to with their thoughts and questions about it. Rap. Yes. Love it. Love rap.
But then lately I’ve been going through a shift. It started when I started enjoying the samples as much or more than the rap songs made out of them. Then I started in with the kind of “funky jazz” Ricky Powell was walking around NYC with his little transistor radio.5 And now I’m like a full blown washed jazz dad. So, in my day to day, what I’m listening to is a lot more like Makaya McCraven’s “reimagining” of Gil Scott-Heron’s I’m New Here6 than, like, “Dr. Birds.”
Actually, usually I’m vocal-free. Like have you heard McCraven’s Universal Beings album? Wooooo.
When you’re the co-host of a call-in comedy podcast, you become a little preoccupied with telephone-related things. So I spend an inordinate amount of time on sites like this one. But my current, right-now, ‘I might actually get this thing’ thing is this.1 New episode coming soon. (For real!)
I reference this deep dive into the work of Reid Miles all the time. Reid Miles might be the best who ever did it.
Since Chance made the transition from Promising Young Rapper to Corniest Dude on the Planet, I can no longer, in good conscience, just blindly link to some Chance-related content. But. He brought out Lil Wayne for his All-Star Game performance2, and Lil Wayne appeared to be wearing a ring that said “Hi, Mom,” in diamonds, on the inside, only visible when he waved to the camera. You really should just take my word for it, but if you don’t feel like you can, here it is.
Cooper Black is New Kansas now? Okay, I guess. I’ll take Cooper Black however I can get it. It’s the Cheers credits typeface, y’all. It was Crailtap.
Does this title sound like it’s directed to my wife? It’s not. She can see my phone whenever she wants. Read on!
The other day I took a jacket1 and a pair of jeans to the tailor. My jacket just needed a button. I should learn how to sew a button. But I only need one every 10 years or so, and $5/decade seems like a fair price to pay to not have to learn how to do something. The jeans were a little more complicated. Whatever. That’s not the point of this. The point is: I paid in advance.
So when I picked up my my jacket and jeans a week later, I was surprised when the clerk followed me out to my car. The computer, apparently, suggested that I had not paid in advance. My account was in arrears! But the thing was: I had paid. In advance.
Maybe, the man suggested, we could check your phone. Look at the charges on the credit card. Perhaps that might resolve the matter.
Oh, no. We don’t need to look at my phone.
Because before I knew what was happening, a new kind of grin was spreading across my face. A feeling of pleasure I hadn’t known before raced through me. As I pulled the printed receipt from my wallet, I was in ecstasy. The feeling of producing a physical receipt? Under suspicion of delinquent payment? Or for any other reason, probably? This is a sensation I could become very much addicted to.
A couple of days later, I called in a pickup order to the juice place, because I’m a bougie dude with shit to do, and my order is specific and crazy. But when I showed up: no juice!
That’s weird, I said. I just called it in.
Well, maybe, said the lady2we could look at your phone and see what numberyou dialed.
Um. Ok. I will show you my phone. But only to show you my list of recent calls, where the number of the juice place is programmed in, because I call in an order like 3 times a week. Then I will redial, and your phone will ring, and I will recount the conversation we had 10 minutes prior. I will do this good-naturedly, but, remember: you asked.
This felt much less-good than the receipt thing. But, either way: Stop asking to see my phone, you fucking weirdos!
Welcome to a Valentimes-themed edition of “Loosies,” which is a name I inadvertently stole from blog hero turned dance music impresario Nick Catchdubs.
I relate to The Free Design because they’re a talented bunch of also-rans who ended up doing marketing work.
I don’t know a lot about Margo Guryan. She showed up on a list of suggested tracks for a playlist I was making, and I ended up loving this whole 27 Demos project. And this song in particular is very sweet.
The one from the GOAT. Maybe “Cupid” is more on-theme. But come on. “You Send Me” is untouchable forever. It’s the slow, languid, sound of swooning.
Remember when D’Angelo came back and everybody was like holy shit D’Angelo is back can this possibly live up to my expectations of what a D’Angelo album should sound like and then it did and we all felt like assholes for ever doubting the god? It’s crazy that that was 6 years ago.
Valentimes isn’t just about earnest professions of love. It’s also about having fun with your special person, you know?
Murakami can even make being a boomer seem cool. I honestly don’t know how he does it.
GQ tries to explain Lil Wayne’s return to form, but fails to take drugs into account, and therefore presents a woefully incomplete picture of things. Old heads know. But, whatever, I’ll read a Lil Wayne GQ article every time. It’s in my contract.
By the way, Supreme Clientele turned 20 last week. A fact that, in the words of the homie NFD, is “righteous and scary.”
I run into the same problems all the time, and I always have to Google the solutions to them, and they’re always infuriatingly simple, and I feel all dumb like “why can’t I remember this shit?” So as these things surface — resurface? — in my life, I’m going to try to put them here.
I made this playlist for work, as part of kind of a getting-to-know-you mixtape series. But it’s super dope, so I wanted to put it here, too. Click that picture for the Spotify playlist, but don’t clown me for my username. It’s supposed to be a reference to this satirical piece from the 1960s, but it sucks as a name, and I know it, but Spotify won’t let you change your username for some reason. I hate it. Honestly, I should switch to Tidal.
