Remind me to tell you about the time my house flooded in the middle of a global pandemic and nationwide protests.

What does one do when displaced for about a month, with a small child as well as an elderly dog? When you can’t really go anywhere or do anything or come into contact with others? You watch a lot of television.

This is what I watched this weekend. Be safe out there. And don’t pressure wash your house.

Space Force, season 1, episodes 1-3

Space Force is a little too pro the concept of a Space Force for me. and it’s abundantly clear that Mike Schur — who went on to do Parks and Rec, Brooklyn 99, and The Good Place — was the part of the Office equation that was capable of feeling human empathy. Because Greg Daniels made this atrocity. Steve Carell, I fear, has thrown in his lot with the wrong showrunner.

And, like, not to be all extra woke about it but come on. It is annoying that the AOC character gets pwned by the inept chief of staff of a completely unnecessary wing of the armed forces. It’s annoying that women dressed up as Handmaid’s Tale characters get their protest dates wrong.¹ But it’s gross when we see a chimpanzee hurtling toward the sun played for laffs.² I don’t want to serious up a joke all to shit, but, man. Netflix gave y’all all that money and the best you could do was animal cruelty?

The only part of Space Force I like is the way John Malkovich speaks every line like the material is beneath him, because it is.

Bored to Death, season 1, episode 3, “The Case of the Missing Screenplay”

I read this article a while ago that said that it was probably more beneficial, psychologically, to reread and rewatch things you already know you love. So I reread Dune. And now I’m slowly rewatching Bored to Death. I just really love Ted Danson as George in this. It seems like the genesis of his Michael character from The Good Place.

RuPaul’s Drag Race, season 12, “Grand Finale”

I can’t say I’m not disappointed in the results of the finale. Spoilers, y’all.

It just seemed that throughout the season, Gigi played the best game.³ And on the finale itself, Crystal did the most creative, craziest shit. See. Uh. Bove. But neither of them won. Throughout the season, and especially the finale, Jaida seemed like a bit of an also-ran. So it’s crazy that she won the thing. To me. I don’t know.⁴

Spider-Man: Far From Home

When I went to see Neal Stephenson speak a while ago, whenever his last thing came out, he suggested that we were already in the biggest crisis of our time. And that that crisis was social media. And people in the crowd laughed. But Neal was like y’all. If we can’t agree on what’s true, on what happened, that’s the ballgame.

It’s crazy that a movie as cute as this one deals with such scary, weighty topics. And deals with them deftly! But doesn’t really offer any solutions, unfortunately.

It’s pretty good, though. Trippy in parts. Funny in moments. Cha boi Casey loves the part at the end where Zendaya genuinely looks like she’s had the shit scared out of her because she’s gone web swinging for the first time. And shout out to the MCU for doing a better Alex Jones send up than Twin Peaks. But anyway yeah throughout the whole thing is this undercurrent of pure terror, because no one knows who or what to trust anymore.⁵

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, various episodes

Same deal as Bored to Death. Except better. I’ve been going to sleep every night watching episodes of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Because it’s so good, so funny, and so comforting, and the days and nights are so long and crazy. We’re on season 2 right now, and even though I’ve watched this thing already, it’s hard to believe how much talent is on this show. And how, like, every scene is jam packed with gags ⁶, but it never feels forced, or Family Guy-style cutaway distracting and dumb.

1. Because women in the universe of Space Force are silly and disorganized
2. It’s okay, though, because the chimpanzee ate a dog in space.
3. Even on the finale! The way she blinked in time, and then sang the opposite vocal line to make her competitors appear to be backup singers? So smart.
4. It’s possible that the goal of Drag Race is not to win, but to make it to the finals. That way you can come back for All-stars seasons. But it seems like the winner gets to headline the Vegas revue? And who would you want to watch close that show? This is maybe the best endorsement for Jaida’s win. I still say Gigi was robbed, though.
5. Thanks to dickheads like Alex Jones.
6. Kimmy gets a learner’s permit, but there’s a rat in the photo because it fell out of the ceiling the moment the camera took the picture. That would be like a whole season of other shows. It’s not even 10 seconds of UKS.